I will take this opportunity to be more personal than I have ever been in this blog, in order to share a painful story that continues to encourage me.
And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us. I John 4: 16-19
Nearly a year ago, my heart was broken. Although I refused to admit it, it continued to break for the following seven months. In my prayer life I would ask for wisdom and an ability to submit to God's will for my life. That was my constant prayer. Tonight in my devotions as I read through the passage above, I feel blessed to be able to find comfort in God's own infinite wisdom and timing. When I was in that relationship, I failed to love the way God intended. I was not bold or fearless. I am amazed that love exists without fear... that's what I was missing when my heart was breaking. I was living in fear. Fear of being unloved. Fear of being unappreciated. Fear of losing myself. Fear of messing up. I did feel tormented. I felt like I was sinking, but the Lord saved me from that relationship. Now, I am reminded that in love there are no insecurities or lack of trust or miscommunication. A relationship founded on the love the Lord gives us is filled with BOLDNESS. Boldness to do what is right. Boldness to abandon a toxic relationship and throw myself blindly into God's comforting hands.
Since that time, I live with a freedom that only God can give. As I continue to focus on Him, I am continually encouraged by His Word. I am confident that one day the Lord will provide me with an edifying relationship built on the same love mentioned in I John. And who knows. I may have already met that man. :) For now I cherish the overflowing love that God has filled my heart with.
God is good. All the time.