Life

As always I contemplate life.  My friend thinks my introverted personality thrives on it, and I would agree.  With anything, I believe healthy amounts of evaluation and constructive criticism encourage growth.  While here in Louisiana, my (former) life as an architect and current life as a professional free spirit have occupied my thoughts.

People often ask me if I'll ever get back into architecture; when they do, I always recall when a professor in college mentioned a certain large percentage of architecture students who end up leaving the field over time, and I, being the determined person I was, cringed.  I swore I'd never be that person, working so hard to be an architect and "giving up" to change fields.  Now, I love the irony of my narrow college aspirations.  As I build my business as a photographer, the investment to my college education comes in to question.  Was it all a waste?  Of course not; it was all worth it.  Going to architecture school molded me into the person I am today, giving me the foundation that I've built my business on.  I may not be an architect, I may never be an architect, but my college and work experience was a growing experience.

Like this chair we're all on display, open to the judgements or praises of others.  For me, I find, my toughest critic within myself.  I'm not a particularly ambitious person, but I do hold myself to a high standard.  It may come as surprise that I have such high expectations for myself as it may not appear as if I do; I find that oftentimes my standards are so high that I can become paralyzed by fear or potential disappointment in myself that I prevent myself from moving forward.  At times I do feel like a failure for switching careers or discouraged that I'm not where I want to be in my business.  But I had to learn that it's ok to "fail" because every experience, good or bad, pushes me towards the life I'm meant to have.