I started 2018 a bit unexpectedly, joining that big movement we've all been hearing about called influenza, then subsequently passing it on to Lance. Whoops. So alas, here I am in mid-January, but I suppose it's better late than never to share my resolutions for the new year.
This year I'm doing my resolutions a little differently. I wrote out the things I wanted to work on, keeping in mind that I wanted to cultivate more balance in my life. Coincidentally the results were eighteen resolutions that fit almost neatly in three different categories ( "working on my website" didn't fit into any category, so I just put it one. whoops). Without further ado here are some things I want to focus in on for 2018
For me. Much of the resolutions in this category were major focuses in my life when I was at my best. So for 2018 I want to work my way back to my best self. In the past three years since moving to Alabama, I feel like I was constantly swimming up stream. I moved here not knowing a single person besides Lance, having to restart my business, trying to navigate how to be married, and trying, with much difficulty, to understand the culture here. It was a lot for me experience all at once, and many times I felt like I just was trying to keep up. But now I feel like I'm finally getting my bearings and in a place to do more for myself, and I think these six resolutions will help me get there.
3. Be curious
4. Be brave
5. Say yes
6. Say no
Reading always centered me, but this year I want to especially focus on reading for myself as I manage some book sponsorships and reach my goodreads goal. I want to savor and enjoy reading, not just as a means to an end. As for writing, whether it was in my blog, in my journal, or to friends, I always felt a sense of calm and self-renewal when I wrote. And since I've not written at all in the past year, I'd love to get back to it.
I love structure and consistency in my life, but recently I've felt a little stagnant. I think leading this year with curiosity will refocus myself on seeing the world and people with new eyes. With that, I'll need a bit of bravery to break out of my comfort zone and overcome the fears that have kept me from being my true self.
Finally with being brave comes saying yes to those things that scare me. Maybe it's joining that book club I've been meaning to join or getting out of my comfort zone to pursue more connections or becoming more vulnerable with people. Whatever it is, I want to approach opportunities with open eyes and an open heart. But with "saying yes" needs to come balance. I often find myself saying yes to things only out of obligation or because I'd feel guilty if I'd said no. So I want to work on saying no to things to maintain some of my boundaries.
For fun. When making new year's resolutions, I feel it's necessary to throw in some low-commitment, all-fun resolutions for myself. You need to throw in things that would be great to focus on, but if you can't, there's no sense of failure, since they were all in fun after all. This set of resolutions are purely for my enjoyment.
7. Take more personal pictures
8. Print my pictures and scan my instant film
9. Get outside
11. Be a good plant mom
12. Work on my website
Lance and I are at a really fun part in our life together, and I want to be able to look back on this part of our life and not just have the memories, but also the pictures. I want those pictures of us cooking in our kitchen, playing board games, going to the grocery store...etc. But being a photographer and having the social media envy seriously prevents me from taking pictures of our "ordinary" life because I'm only taking pictures in those perfect, perfectly-lit moments. It's really hard to get over. I want to remember to take pictures of our life whether it's a "bad" or "good" picture opportunity.
Also, I must admit I'm that photographer who doesn't print her pictures. In fact, I've only printed about three photos from my wedding. Eeeek. I swear I meant to; I just haven't gotten around to doing it. So I definitely need to get out and print my pictures. With that, I'd also love to get all my instant film scanned. I literally have hundreds of polaroids and instax minis just lying around.
Getting outside and exploring kind of go hand in hand, but I want to hike/walk more as well as try the different adorable places in Homewood and the surrounding areas. For example, the Alabama Booksmith's only a couple miles from my house, yet I've never gone, even though it's a bookstore of signed editions of books. How crazy am I that as a booklover I've never gone to this little gem in my own town?! I need to get exploring!
Finally I'd just love to keep all my plants alive and work on my website. I think that's manageable, right?
For life. If you've gotten this far in this blog post, thanks so much for reading; I know it's been long. My last group of resolutions are things I want to work on for just an overall better quality of life.
13. Be kind
14. Venture off my island
15. Work on my friendships
18. Think big and long term
Choosing kindness is a sort of beacon for me. I admit I have a mean streak in me that I've spent my whole life trying to combat. I've come a long way in overcoming it, but when I want to react to situations, thinking of how I can be kind put me on that road to becoming a better person. I want to continue to work on choosing kindness whenever I can.
One time a friend asked, "How long could you be in a cabin in the woods completely cut off from the rest of the world." My immediate answer was two months. (Hers was one day.) Admittedly I've always been an introvert, gaining my energy from being alone, but over the years of working from home that's just gone to the extreme. I'm super introverted now, and as a result that's made me content to be an island. I want to venture off that island of solitude and cultivate my friendships and relationships with people. I want to be accessible to people who need my help or want to get to know me better. I want to be more available and open in my relationships.
My theme for the past couple of years was fear, and it's fear that kept me from finishing many of my big and small projects, like keeping up this blog or updating this website or even putting up my pictures in my living room. It was fear of what other people thought, of not doing the job well enough, of making mistakes, of failure.... you name it. But this year I hope to finish projects however small. After all what use is it to want something to be great, if you never finish it.
Minimizing is an ongoing battle as I swear that I'm a hoarder. I want to minimize most everything in my life from spending, to screen time to, of course, my possessions. I have plenty of clutter in my life that I would live much more happily without. To tackle this task I'll need to be more conscious of how I spend my time, money, and attention as well as pare down the unnecessary.
Finally, I want to think big and long term. Almost a decade ago during the recesssion when I was laid off from my job, I basically abandoned all my long term goals. At the time I think that was the right thing for me. I needed to seek out and depend on God's plans for my life instead of leaning on my own ideas of how my life should be. Seeking God's plans brought me to my career as a photographer, to my marriage to Lance, and to this wonderful life we have here in Alabama. However, recently I've felt like God speaking to me, encouraging me to continue to trusting in Him, but also asking me what my dreams and long term goals were. I don't know what 2018 or my future hold, but I think it's time to think big and long term. What do I want my life to look like five years from now? Ten years from now? Fifty years from now? What are some big crazy dreams I can concoct? The possibilities for 2018 and beyond are endless, and I can't wait see what comes.
If you've made it all the way to the end, bless you. Thank you for reading about my resolutions. I'd love to hear your resolutions or if you'd like to join me for any of mine, so let me know!
(And just in case you were curious, here are my seventeen resolutions in 2017. )
Baxley, Georgia, November 24, 2017 | Canon Rebel XSN. Kodak Colorplus 200 developed and scanned by Indie Film Lab