hello, september!

1205 pup01 Goals for september :)

Stay focused.  I want to use September as a means to regroup.  To reevaluate my focuses in life.  I want God to be my main focus, but I also want to focus on how to find new balance in my life.  I want to see how I can balance grief and relationships and work in a healthy way.... something I'm learning as I go.

Keep it up.  For me it's difficult to move forward without seeing "progress", so my goal for September is keeping doing what I'm doing.  I want to remember that it's okay to make small steps; well, any steps are good steps.  I want to keep up the pace I'm at out.  I'm slowly getting back to some sort of normalcy.  I'm also slowly meeting up with people, which is good for me.  I want to remember that it's okay to be by myself.  And most importantly not to pressure myself to heal or move faster than I'm capable.

Connect. September is going to be a busy month for me.  Between shooting weddings and portraits, I'll be traveling a lot.  I have some trepidation being alone while I travel, especially since the last trip I was on was when I found out my mom passed.  I fear I'll relive that flight/day when I cried uncontrollably for 13 hours.  It's easy for me to retreat and default to being myself when I'm scared, so I want to connect with people.  I want to open myself up to them and let them know when I need help and prayers.  I also want to connect with all the people I'll be working with this month.  Thankfully, travel always rejuvenates me, so maybe my fears are unwarranted.

As scary as it is to go through another month of grieving, things are slowly getting better, and I'm excited to see what else God will bless me with in this new month.  :)