Reflections

As each day passes I believe more and more in the reality of God's active role in my life.  I look back on my life feeling grateful for the struggles I faced.  Back in early 2011 my mother was diagnosed with cancer.  Although my mom had faith everything would work out, I was terrified at the thought of my life (at that point) without her.  You see, around that same time I was going through a very hard breakup.  The man I loved had returned the ring he was going to propose with and eventually decided a break up was the best for him.  At the time I couldn't understand why God allowed such a painful experience.  I knew there would be a reason, but with the news of my mom's cancer, I found it very difficult to live through that time.  My only comfort was my faith in God. I find it very difficult to not know the reasons for things.  I always want to know why things happen.  So it's very fitting that the thing I need to learn most is the very lesson God's trying to teach me.  I have to train myself to trust God and his plans for my life.  Over and over He's proven that His plans are better than mine.  And even though I don't know the why, there is an answer.  I just have to trust God and let things unfold how they should; in time I'll know why.

Looking back, I'm so thankful for that breakup.  Not only have I changed for the better since, but I see now how God provided all this time for me to spend with my parents.  I see how God knew it was better for me to be with my parents than to be living in another country with a husband.  I can't even begin to imagine how horrible I would feel to be apart from my family during this time.  God has been so good to all of us, especially mom who didn't experience any serious complications or side effects from her cancer treatment.  So now, today marks the day when my mom can finally close this chapter of her life.  And in a way I feel God opening a new chapter for me.

Yay!