The other day I had a moment. Maybe it was frustration or helplessness or sadness but it was a definitely a cry for an answer. Eyes sobbing and anxiety building I did the only thing I thought I could... I prayed out to God. I prayed for His help. His strength. His comfort. I prayed for more faith and more trust. And in those prayers I knew God would give me an answer the next day at church. And He did.
I woke up the morning of church feeling resolve. Almost as if sleep had given me a clean slate. (It hadn't.) Almost as if I fixed my problem myself. (I hadn't.) So when I arrived at church I had nearly forgotten that cry for an answer the night before. Then my pastor spoke about the impossible. My heart sunk right there and then. I felt exactly what I desired was impossible, that to obtain it would truly be a miracle. So I perked up ears while my pastor continued to talk about Abraham and Sarah and their desire for a baby. God planned to give them a child all along and all they had to do was wait. Wait.
Wait. It's so simple but so extremely difficult. Like Abraham and Sarah I've schemed and manipulated to "fulfill God's plans". But how wrong am I to believe that. Does God really need my help? Of course not. He loves me so much he wants me to just sit back and relax... and wait. My pastor pointed out that impossible is right where we want to be. To believe that our desires are impossible is to believe that God, and only God, can make it happen. And in that feeling of helplessness that our search ends at God.
As Monday progresses I am reassured that I have my answer to my prayer. Since that cry to God I've been reminded over and over to just wait. I was even reminded by a blog post. To say that my God is a true and living God is an understatement somehow. How do you describe someone so real, so attainable, so dynamically involved in my life? Never has my God failed me. And always have I seen Him follow through on his promises to me. Everyday I am more and more convinced that God exists and continues to care for me. So it's a no brainer that as I continue to live my life that God's answer to my prayer to wait is exactly what I need to do.