answer for life

The other day I had a moment. Maybe it was frustration or helplessness or sadness but it was a definitely a cry for an answer. Eyes sobbing and anxiety building I did the only thing I thought I could... I prayed out to God. I prayed for His help. His strength. His comfort. I prayed for more faith and more trust. And in those prayers I knew God would give me an answer the next day at church. And He did.

I woke up the morning of church feeling resolve. Almost as if sleep had given me a clean slate. (It hadn't.) Almost as if I fixed my problem myself. (I hadn't.) So when I arrived at church I had nearly forgotten that cry for an answer the night before.  Then my pastor spoke about the impossible. My heart sunk right there and then. I felt exactly what I desired was impossible, that to obtain it would truly be a miracle. So I perked up ears while my pastor continued to talk about Abraham and Sarah and their desire for a baby. God planned to give them a child all along and all they had to do was wait. Wait.

Wait. It's so simple but so extremely difficult. Like Abraham and Sarah I've schemed and manipulated to "fulfill God's plans". But how wrong am I to believe that. Does God really need my help? Of course not. He loves me so much he wants me to just sit back and relax... and wait. My pastor pointed out that impossible is right where we want to be. To believe that our desires are impossible is to believe that God, and only God, can make it happen. And in that feeling of helplessness that our search ends at God.

As Monday progresses I am reassured that I have my answer to my prayer. Since that cry to God I've been reminded over and over to just wait. I was even reminded by a blog post. To say that my God is a true and living God is an understatement somehow. How do you describe someone so real, so attainable, so dynamically involved in my life? Never has my God failed me. And always have I seen Him follow through on his promises to me. Everyday I am more and more convinced that God exists and continues to care for me. So it's a no brainer that as I continue to live my life that God's answer to my prayer to wait is exactly what I need to do.


Merry Christmas!

I know it's only Christmas eve, but in my family we start our Christmas celebrations today. So I usually think today is Christmas. Ha! After weeks of preparation, Christmas is finally here. Time for family feasts, games and lots of laughing.

When I think of Christmas, I'll admit that first comes to mind is giving, then family, then Christ.  (Look above, I even put up a picture of a Christmas tree... fail.  The meaning of Christmas isn't Christmas trees or presents... but that picture is festive, isn't it?)  Anyway, I digress.  As a Christian it's especially wonderful as it celebrates the birth of Jesus, who came to earth to save us all.  But, really it's quite remarkable that Jesus came with such humble beginnings (born in a stable and put in a manger).  And it gets me wondering, how am I living my life?  Do I live a life of humility and service and love?  Even for those who don't believe in God or believe Jesus is just a story, I don't think anyone can argue that Christ set an amazing example through his life.  And as my New Year's resolution, I really want to focus on those three things in 2012.  Love. Service. Humility.

On to the next thing.

Sometimes I'm just in a funk, either I'm lacking inspiration or I'm bored or I'm sad or whatever the case may be.  So I find myself doing three things: writing, reading and/or traveling.   And one or all of those three things seems to always reach and pull me out of my funk.  Today it's all three, but I'll just focus on the reading aspect.  Everyday I read My Utmost for my Highest, a daily devotional by Oswald Chambers.  And one day, Feb 18 to be exact, the devotion spoke specifically to me.  I came across it again today, and I wondered how often I prevent myself from truly enjoying life.  It talked about how we can get caught up in missed opportunities and the past and how it keeps us from growing.  But God tells us to get out of our funk and get on to the next thing.

It reminds me a lot of a couple years ago when I simultaneously lost my job and boyfriend.  It was one of the hardest times of my life, and even harder because I couldn't move on.  I could not accept the reality of my situation, desperately holding on to the what-if's and how-come's of my life.  After much struggling I finally found resolution and peace in God and His soft voice guiding me to move on to the next thing.

So again, in my funk, lacking inspiration and lamenting on things of the past, God's gently urging me to move on to the next thing.  And this time, I'm excited about what's happening right now in the present.  (Although I was pretty disappointed in didn't snow this past weekend as forecasted...maybe I'll see it this weekend?)