love

"There is no remedy for love but to love more. "Henry David Thoreau.

Love's been a lot on my mind recently. With the start of wedding season I truly start to feel butterflies in my stomach constantly surrounded by couples in love. Sharing these memories with couples on their wedding days makes my heart flutter. I can't describe it. I always fight back tears at weddings especially during the vows and toasts.  Recently I've been crying a lot. I cry over EVERYTHING.  I cry when someone tells me about something wonderful that's happened in their life. I cry when I see a sad commercial on tv. I cry when someone is sick. I cry. I cry. I cry. People have tried to offer me some explanations, but the one I'm sticking to is an explanation an acquaintance told me.

"You cry because you've learned how to cry."

I kind of like that. It seems so poetic how she's explained my constant crying. It's nice to feel so vulnerable all the time. At one time I seriously thought I was dead inside. I'm not joking. With so many difficult losses and breakups I thought I'd shut off my ability to let people in or let anything affect me emotionally. So these tears of joy and sadness are pretty awesome. I feel totally embarrassed at the time, but they're worth it. The tears remind me that I still have so much more love to give.

Second to my homeboy, Ralph Waldo Emerson, I do enjoy some of the works of Thoreau. And it is so true and poignant what he says about love. When you've been hurt, you can't close yourself off. You must continue to love. You must love when it hurts. when you're scared. when you don't think there's anymore love left in you. you.must.love. done.

How do you show your love?

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